We are the Benefits Crew
Postin' answers, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just answerin' for fun
Answerin' questions for everyone.
Some are here to start some trouble.
But most just here to do the BenefitsLink Shuffle.
GBurns
I’m a transplant, and always have an opinion.
I peel Matthew Tae like he's an onion,
I like answerin' but love to pin him down.
And take on Don Levit when I turn around.
Now I'm as blunt as can be,
My posts are a bit crusty.
There's not one here that does it like me,
My BenefitLink Shuffle sets me free.
J Simmons
I'm all over the Board, not leaving 'em cold.
Some of my posts, too big, too bold,
I've been nose-in’ and postin' for a while,
Some posts tinged with rhetoric vile,
Post a question, I'll give you a quick answer,
Then others will pounce like a panther.
J didn't come here postin' for no trouble,
J just came to do The BenefitLink Shuffle
Gary Lesser
I'm the plucky SEP and SIMPLE man.
When I post to the Board, I've got a plan.
I don’t throw answers all over the Board.
I look for a chance, I’m the SEP man.
I motivate the cats, I don’t like to tease.
I play so cool, I aim to please.
That's why you all got here on the double
To catch me doin' the BenefitLink Shuffle.
Andy the Actuary
I’ve got the best avatar,
I've got the best picture.
The men all wonder
Is it my looks or my mind? For sure.
I know numbers as well as can be
Ain't no sucker gonna get PPA past me.
Some posters are jealous
Of my style and class,
That's why some end up on their -,
I didn’t come here to burst anyone’s bubble,,
I just get down to The BenefitLink Shuffle.
Appleby
Anyone who thinks he’s the IRA man.
But if he can’t roll it over, I’m sure I can.
This is Denise, and it's no wonder
I like chartin' and rollin’ like thunder.
So bring on doubters, bring on IRS,
Retirees need my rollin’ finesse.
I'm not here to cause no ruffle,
I just came here to do
The BenefitLink Shuffle.
J4KFBC
I'm West Des Moines John, and I play it cool.
Problems don't sneak by me 'cause I'm no fool.
I post on the Board and nail an answer down.
Everybody knows I don't mess around.
I’m thinkin’ and analyzin’, all times of day.
I like to figure it out, don’t like taxes to pay,
So please don't try to beat my hustle
'Cause I'm just here to do
The BenefitLink Shuffle.
(Repeat Chorus)
The Inactives
We posters of old, have since grown weary.
I pax find the whole thing now dreary.
I Maldonado let the air out of my own tire,
We stopped posting, so we could retire.
I Archimage now let Belgarath go medieval,
Don't look to me for citation retrieval.
I MGB have been gone too long
And I Katherine no longer care if you’re wrong
We used to read and post, but do no more,
We can no longer be troubled
We’ve long since been
BenefitLink Shuffle’d.
David Rigby and Jim Chad
It's David here, and I'm Mr. Chad.
Don’t know the answer? Post, don’t be sad.
We’re renewed, posting more again
We’ve got wisdom and we’ll let you in,
You don’t have to go it alone.
We’ll gnaw on the issue,
Right down to the bone.
Come on everybody let's ask and answer,
Gotta do it on the BenefitsLink Shuffle.
VEBAPLAN
Well, I’m an exception,
I need to cause readers doubt
My goal is self-promotion,
Posting articles already published out.
I like to multiple post and puff myself up
To entice HR to source into my cup.
And I’m doin' this because I’m greedy.
But other Posters doin' it to feed the needy.
Others didn't come here to look for trouble,
others just came here to post
The BenefitLink Shuffle.
vebaguru
Now you all need to keep your VEBAs straight,
I’m the guru not the seminar boaster.
I may know VEBAs, but I'm not taking that bait.
You've seen me answer, I’m sometimes a poster,
Don’t forget 115, VEBAs aren’t always the best roaster,
You might need fiduciary guidance from Peter the Great
Hurry, now, it might not be too late,
I didn't come here lookin' for trouble,
I just come on occasion to do
The BenefitLink Shuffle.